Insecurites

Wow. Has it really been a week since my last post?? I've been so busy with school and family life in general; I forgot to check in and write a post. Enough with my excuse and onward with my post. :)

As promised, this one is for you Jmharie. ;)

My husband and I got married 3 months after we met. Most people think it's crazy thing to do and I agree, but I just knew. We knew. (We are now in our 3rd year of marriage. Yay for us so far!) It's safe to say I was a bit insecure about his previous relationships. I don't know about everyone else, but I compare myself a lot. I measure my success by comparing myself with myself, or another person. Bad idea, I know. I hated it when my mom used to compare me with my friends so I don't know why I do it now. I should know better. Well my husband and I was in Long Beach with two of our friends at a cambodian/thai/chinese restaurant having a great time eating dinner when a tall thin female walked across the window which happens to be his ex-fiancee. It was my first time seeing her so I was in awe. There was no awkwardness because she continued walking; I don't think she saw us.

I just gave birth to my daughter 6 months ago so I'm in the postbaby workout mode trying to attain my prebaby weight at the least. I'm trying for my weight when I first met my husband. I have no qualms with his ex-fiancee; I'm just insecure about my body. I'm sure every woman at one time or another has had insecurities about their weight, or the way their body looks. I try my best everyday to love my body the way it is and understand that I'm still on the path to attain my goal, but sometimes a curveball just comes my way and I start to compare myself. It's hard for me because I used to be stick thin so when I started gaining weight; it was a bit hard to deal with. I'm not going to lie sometimes I have thoughts about becoming anorexic. I'm glad to report to you that although I think about it, I have never acted on it. I bbmed (blackberry messenger) my friend Jmahrie about my insecurity and she did an equivalent of a slap to my head with "OMG! YOU JUST HAD A BABY! It's going to take time. As long you're working toward it, you'll lose the weight." Then she went on of course with the personal details of her life which I will not share on here because it's her life and not mine. Occasionally I need that slap to the head and that's who I go to for my dose of reality. The last 5 lbs to my pre-baby weight won't come off so it's kind of upsetting to me because I've been trying to lose the last 5 since January. Oh it's April by the way. :-/ Any suggestions on how to kick it to the curb?